Germans

A group of people living mostly in Germany, the beaches of Southern Spain and Pennsylvania. They are great at pretty much everything, and have invented most technical gear you own or would like to own. Being an awesome nation, a short Austrian named Hitler managed to make these good-humored people think they were the master race. This soon turned out to be false, and to this day, Germans travel the globe apologizing profusely for ever believing that crap. Germans are known to be great lovers, although they often dress poorly and sometimes sport moustaches. That's why Karl Lagerfeld pretends to be French. As a rule of thumb, Germans posses the inverse skill set of the English, who suck at everything except wearing really, really, really groovy clothes and writing catchy pop songs. Famous Germans include Beethoven, Wagner, the Scorpions, Einstein, Luther, Boris Becker, Kant, Milli Vanilli and most British Royalty. Ahmadinejad and Tom Cruise secretly want to be German, but they can't.