Mackem

Mackems originated from the drunken coupling of a brother and sister from a series of caves known as Pennywell. Legend has it that, after consuming large amounts of Panda Pop and Hewla Hewps, the two fell into an embrace, resulting in the birth of a race of six toed, cave dwelling, sub human filth. Mackems are generally very poorly educated, they are known for refusing to take employment as they are happy to live on benefits. Many choose to live in free houses they have been given from the council. This is primarily to stop them leaving the area and integrating with the normal people from the outlying boroughs. They are a source of great amusement to the rest of the North East, much like poking a bear with a stick, or watching a fat bloke fall over. The rest of the UK have no idea where Mackems come from. This is usually remedied by saying "Sunderland. Oh, it's down the road from Newcastle". They are usually found round the back of Farmfoods waiting for out of date cheese, sitting on kerbs in the Pennywell shanty towns, waiting in the crisis loan queue at the job centre or appearing on The Jeremy Kyle Show. They produce vast amounts of children with multiple partners. These offspring usually go by the name Jayden or Chantelle. It is a well known fact that Mackems are responsible for all crime committed in the North East. Well known Mackems throughout history include the old agony aunt off This Morning and Wearside Jack.