Jacking off
Whacking off
Beating off
Smacking the ho
Beating the pig
Whipping
the Wayne
Slapping the salami
Whacking the wand
Punishing the pubs
Burning the beet
Beating the beef
Beating the meat
Jerking the jerky
Jerkin' the gherkin
Working the slave
Choking the chicken
Or
In redneck terms
Buttering the corn
Revving the engine
Or
Hunting the deer