Rockford

A small picturesque town in west Michigan home to the fierce Rockford Rams. Grad classes are upwards of six hundred and every team is number one in the state thanks to steroids. Because Rockford is perfect, any flunker, flunkie, and pregnant girl is redirected to the nearby school, river "retard" valley. Nine out of ten families are rich, conservative republicans while the rest are democrats. The school is 99.4% Caucasian, and black kids are celebrities. The cops hate the kids, because every last one is stoned. Rockford is home to the biggest marijuana trade in west michigan. Teachers only like you if you've made varsity by playing before you could walk.