lardass

A lardass is a person with a few gallons of blubber on their stomach, chest, back, hips, face, chins, and most notably, their caboose. Among the folds of their vast girth, one may find cheeto dust, french fries, potato chips, the TV remote, a dollar twenty-five, and a thick coating of some smelly white goo. The common lardass is found in Mom's basement. They do not move unless food is involved, thus they never take a shower, thus they stink.